


Bees and Bees

by OceanofNoise



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Future Fic, M/M, Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 02:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1371406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanofNoise/pseuds/OceanofNoise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Papa, where do babies come from?”</p><p>(Or: Evgeni Malkin explains the science of male pregnancy.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bees and Bees

**Author's Note:**

> I think a child conceived by Sid and Geno would be one of the most genetically blessed children in the history of the human species. :D (There is no preceding mpreg fic for this and the world is a better place without it because I could not write mpreg to save my life.)

“Papa, where do babies come from?”

Evgeni cringed and wished he could just crawl under a rock and die. First the pregnancy and now this. “Uh, Kristina…” he began uncertainly, mindful to be careful with his choice of English words (which he was proud to say had improved quite a bit over the years after ex-patriating to the United States for pragmatic reasons, namely raising their daughter in an Anglophone country because while his handle of English was rudimentary at best, Sidney’s of Russian was non-existent).

He cleared his throat. “When a—when two people love each other very much like me and daddy love each other, they… make something growing inside one of the people’s bodies and the something become one of you they love just as much as the two people love each other!” He gave his daughter a bop on the nose with his finger and hoped that the conversation had ceased.

But Kristina, ever curious, was not finished. “All of my classmates have a mommy and a daddy, but I have two daddies. Why do I have you and daddy while the other children have just one?”

“Because…” Evgeni smiled outwardly but felt his insides collapsing in on themselves. 

Sidney had told him many times to be prepared for this conversation (since skimming through a few parenting books suddenly made Sidney an expert on the subject or something) but he always figured that their daughter was too young to ask. He’d never asked his parents where babies came from. Not because he wasn’t curious, but because he’d learned it through a very graphic discussion with Denis and had been so disgusted by it that he avoided the subject with his parents altogether. And that may or may not have Evgeni’s hope with his daughter. Maybe. 

“Because you are very special, Kristina.” He hoped that those words would suffice.

“I was in your tummy, wasn’t I?” She poked at Evgeni’s stomach, which with age and the stress that came with bringing a child to term as a man (then subsequently raising said child) had become a little larger and significantly softer since his younger days.

“…Yes.” Damnit, where was Sidney with the damn groceries?

“How did I get from there,” she gave Evgeni’s stomach another jab. “To here?”

It had been a very gruesome sight; one he never wanted to recollect except as bargaining leverage against Sidney. And he certainly was not going to get into the details of the experience with his still very young daughter, whom he wanted to see reach her seventh birthday. “You come out of very special place in papa. You very very tiny back then.” 

He wished that had been true. Oh God, he couldn’t believe that something so huge had come out of him. He nearly fainted at the sight, and that was just when he had started crowning.

“Oh.” She paused to purse her full lips. It was uncanny. Kristina was most definitely Sidney’s spawn, and Evgeni would have laughed had the topic of their conversation been any less traumatizing. “Because when I told someone that I had no mommy he told me that only a mommy could make a baby inside.”

“That person wrong, Kristina,” Evgeni snapped indignantly, almost startling his daughter. Off that, he added gently “There more than one way to make baby.”

“Oh, okay.” She smiled and settled back into the cartoon show they had been watching together before she had asked the dreaded question.

A moment passed. “So when you corner daddy in the shower, are you trying to make another baby?”

Evgeni’s heart skipped a beat. “Uh…” He searched his brain desperately for the safest answer. “Why you think that?”

“Because when you and daddy are in the shower together you both say the word ‘fuck’ a lot—“

“Kristina! That is very bad word only for grown-up to say!” Evgeni objected frantically.

“…The boy told me that the word means to make babies.”

“Who is this boy?” Evgeni made a mental note to speak to his mother… or father. Or take the kid and snap his neck.

“Just someone in my class.”

Not for long. “Okay.”

“So are you and daddy having another baby? Because I really want a little sister! Can I have a little sister?” She looked up at Evgeni with her large, hazel eyes.

In all honesty, Evgeni had wanted more children. Not by the “natural” process of course. That was too dangerous. And nauseating. And plenty painful. And he would have never wished that on Sidney either. Mostly. But Sidney had vetoed the idea of them raising even more children together, citing the reason as being “weird”. Well, Evgeni had to give him that. “Only if daddy say okay.”

As if on cue there was a rustling of keys before Sidney walked through the front door carrying a load of groceries. Kristina bolted towards him and clung to his legs.

“Daddy! Are you going to make a little sister for me?”

Sidney made a horrified face at Evgeni. “What have you been telling our daughter?”

Evgeni shrugged. “Just about bees and bees.”


End file.
